I am always fascinated by what makes us tick, what drives or motivates us, why we choose a specific behaviour. I know who you hang out with counts, but who you think about can count even more that you realize.

Science tells us from the time we are born we begin to learn by mimicking and mirroring those around us. The first seven years or so a child’s brain is mostly in receptive mode, taking in and copying without questioning what exists in their world. Each child learns through trial and error and instinctively repeats the behaviour that gives them what they want. In emotional terms, this is attention and acceptance.

A child’s brain does not function in Beta rhythms till closer to puberty. Beta is our brain’s active thinking frequency that adults engage most during their working day. But if you think, that just because we have the mechanism with which to think, that we are more discerning of what we allow to influence us, then you may be surprised at some of the more recent scientific findings.
Ap Dijksterhuis, a social psychologist from Holland, gathered data confirming various forms of complex mimicry in human behaviour.
He had one group of participants think about college professors, typically associated with “intelligence”, and write down everything that came to mind about them. He had a second group to write about soccer hooligans, unruly and destructive fans associated with “stupid” behaviour.

Then both groups were asked a series of general knowledge questions. Participants who had concentrated earlier on college professors outperformed those thinking about soccer hooligans. And the “college professor” participants also outperformed a control group in answering the general knowledge questions. In turn this control group outperformed the “soccer hooligan” participants too.
The conclusion: just thinking about college professors makes you smarter and thinking about soccer hooligans makes you dumber!
Who you associate with has a big influence on your behaviour. Each of us from our own experience is likely to recognize that, but we may not have realized the extent of this influence.

“Relevant research has shown by now that imitation can make us slow, fast, smart, stupid, good at math, bad at math, helpful, rude, polite, long-winded, hostile, aggressive, cooperative, competitive, conforming, non conforming, conservative, forgetful, careful, careless, neat, and sloppy,” quoting from Mirroring People by Marco Iocoboni.

I keep going to seminars where I’m often told by presenters to be successful I need to mix with successful people and do what they do. To be happy I need to be with happy people, to laugh and have fun with them. It’s worth noticing who we gravitate towards and who gravitates towards us.

Each of us has mirror neurons in our brain that activate when watching others, be it on the sports field, at a social event, at the dinner table or on TV. Our mirror neurons register another’s muscle activity, anticipate their next move, and feel what another is feeling. And it seems we also have further super mirror neurons that control and modulate some of our basic mirroring. Which is just as well as not all forms of imitative behaviour is good for us as individuals, as a family or as a society.

I recall I chose to keep my two boys away from certain company when they were young as time spend “playing” with them would mean my two would become aggressive and physically fight and argue. That influence would take a week to undo . So there were some friends we would invite to visit with their children and others we socialized with in adult only groups as their children did not respect property or people.

The environment and people in our early childhood, our interaction and experiences with them, their attitudes and beliefs, provide the basis for our adult behaviour. This becomes our norm, what is normal in our world.

“Our instinct for empathy is part of the good news stemming from mirror neurons. Imitative violence could well be he bad news – and there may be more.”

Youngsters who grow up in low income “ghettos” or “slums” mirror and adopt the behaviour of those around them. Yet some escape this influence and take on very different, even opposite, approach to life. How did they find their way out?

This is the wonder of the human race. We are so often extra-ordinary and rise above our beginnings. We are built to do just that. Research on how we do it is ongoing. Kinesiology is a valuable tool for creating change and opening up choices. The purpose for me in following scientific research is to find more ways to help myself and my people create the fulfilling life we each want no matter what our beginnings.
Cheers
Anna McRobert
anna@annamcrobert.com