Women have often been considered more emotionally sensitive than men.  Is this true?  Well, according to scientific research it is true.  Women “tune in” and “pick up” on people’s feelings more often and more accurately than men.

“Girls as young as a year old are more responsive to the distress of other people, especially those who look sad or are hurt.  Men pick up the subtle signs of sadness in a female face only 40 percent of the time, whereas women can pick up these signs 90 percent of the time,” writes Dr Brizendine.

It seems the explanation for the differing degree of ability to “read” the signs of emotional distress lies in the biology of our brains.

Dr Louann Brizendine is a neurobiologist, a medical doctor, a psychiatrist, founder of UCSF Women’s Mood and Hormone Clinic in San Francisco, a wife, a mother, and the author of the book The Female Brain.

In her book she tracks and reveals the journey of hormone influences on the life experience of females, from embryo to menopause and beyond. As a woman you will recognize and have many of your own experiences validated in the descriptions of the physical, mental and emotional shifts she articulates.   Her book is a gem for all women.  And for men, you will finally get a handle on what goes on inside a woman’s brain, what makes her tick.

Here’s an example from her book of how a woman “tunes in.”

The scene:  Sarah bursts into tears and her husband is surprised.

“As she asks him …(read her book for the vital question)… her visual system begins scanning his face intently for signs of his emotional response to her question.  Does he tighten his face or relax it?  Does he clench around the mouth, or keep it neutral?  Whatever the expression on his face, her eyes and facial muscles will automatically mimic it. “

“The rate and depth of her breathing start to match his.  Her posture and muscle tension conform to his.  Her body and brain receive his emotional signals.  This information is sent through her brain circuits to search her emotional memory banks for a match.  This process is called “mirroring,” and not all people can do it equally well. “

“Sarah’s brain will begin stimulating its own circuits as if her husband’s body sensations and emotions were hers.  In this way she can identify and anticipate what he is feeling – often before he is conscious of it himself.”

Matching breathing, matching posture, she is becoming a human emotion detector.  She is feeling his tension in her gut, his jaw clenching in the strain of her neck.

Her brain registers the emotional match: anxiety, fear and controlled panic.”

“As he starts to speak, her brain carefully searches to see if what he says is congruent with his tone of voice.  If the tone and meaning do not match, her brain will activate wildly.  Her cortex, the place for analytical thinking, would try to make sense of this mismatch. “

“… Sarah’s female brain is a high-performance emotion machine – geared to tracking, moment by moment, the non-verbal signals of the innermost feelings of others.  By contrast, Nick, like most males, according to scientists, is not as adept at reading facial expressions and emotional nuance – especially signs of despair and distress.  It’s only when men actually see tears that they realize, viscerally, that something’s wrong.

Perhaps that’s why women evolved to cry four times more easily than men – displaying an unmistakable sign of sadness and suffering that men can’t ignore. “

This ability, to tune into and pick up innermost feelings of others, most women are born with.  To women it is instinctive, subconscious, can be honed, and is often dismissed when it can’t be described in words but only experienced as sensations or feelings.  Dr Louanne Brizendine has not only described the tuning in but also backed it up with scientific research.  This is a book I read a few years back and am reading again.  It is affirming, enlightening and fun.

As one of my interests is communication it reinforces that words are only 7 to 8 percent of communication and the remaining majority is body language and voice tone and tempo.  (Register for the Dynamic Communication course for more on this.)

I highly recommend this book to women, to understand themselves, the stages of their journey from in the womb, through birth, childhood, teen years, sexual attraction, motherhood, menopause and beyond.

I highly recommend this book to men to understand how a woman’s mind is created and how it works, what makes her tick, what drives her and what brings her joy and fulfillment.  Because it’s true, women “tune in” better than men.  They are build for it.

The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, M.D.

To order the book go to www.AnnaMcRobertBlog.com and scroll down till you find the Book Title icon on the right side – click on the book to order.

Happy reading.
Cheers
Anna McRobert

How the catch cry “compounding happiness” came about

Recently I spent four days with a bunch of amazing women, each unique, each with individual skills, abilities, insights and contributions in their field of work and family and personal interest.   All are women who care about and for others, at home and professionally, in health and education.  We were celebrating the successful completion of a series of Three In One Concepts workshops, a stream of Kinesiology focused on defusing stress and creating new choices and behaviours.

These were my students and I learned a great deal with them as we progressed through the material, covered techniques and strategies, applied them in practical sessions, gained personal benefits in both giving and receiving, and debriefed to consolidate it all.   Our time together forged close bonds and friendships flourished.  So of course we had to celebrate the end of this part of the journey.  And this gave birth to our catch cry “compounding happiness”.

We all lead busy lives so it was an effort for each of us to make the space for this to happen and a scramble to get away – but we made it happen.  Over four days we made many deposits of happiness to draw on in the future when energy is low, friends are not at hand, and we need a boost.

These are some of the moments of happiness that compounded over the days:
** being collected by Annie, made it – we’re away
** easy relaxing drive to the Sunshine Coast and our destination, a rented house near the beach – time for relaxation and celebration
** we aim for lunch at a popular holiday spot, its really nice – happiness
** and, guess what, we found a car park easily, and it was free. – happiness
** had a great table under a shady tree, lovely just watching the people go by – happiness compounding
** the food was served, definitely hit the spot, exotic, delicious, nourishing – happiness compounding
** completely relaxed into “time out” mode – happiness compounding.
** fun company, sharing nonsensically, looking into shops, seeing bargains and specials – compounding happiness
** we visited an art gallery with wonderfully quirky unusual works – compounding happiness.
** short drive to our accommodation, and we didn’t get lost – compounding happiness.
** two more of the group have already moved in and greet us with welcoming laughter – compounding happiness.
** we settle in, explore the local village, then dinner, singing and dancing to DVDs, lots of spontaneous fun –  compounding happiness
** heavy rain has set in and its windy, but so what, more talking and sharing, finally to sleep – compounding happiness
** next day another of our group arrives, much joy and excitement – compounding happiness
** and another arrives, great greetings – compounding happiness …
so it continues.

We shared shopping, preparing meals, light discussions, heavy discussions, in depth discussions, exchanged ideas, insights, encouraged, admired, supported, planned – compounding happiness.

This was our Carers’ Retreat.  Moment by moment we savoured our enjoyment of being in each others’ company, exploring and engaging in what keeps us in the role of caring for others in their times of distress, through clinics and classrooms and workshops, putting what we learn together into practice – compounding happiness.

It was just the best exercise in compounding happiness.   Each experience in itself was not earth shattering but accumulated joyfully, steadily, compounded, enhanced, enriched.   There will be days when each of us will need to dip into the savings of these riches we compounded, draw on the interest accrued, to tide us over dark gloomy moments, or even days.

So much was gained that we plan to do this again soon.  It was a very effective format.  Thank you to all the magnificent women and to Vicki for prodding us till it happened.

How do you compound happiness in your life?

Cheers
Anna

How is your digestion?  Does it ever play up?  Do you ever suffer from bloating, burping, pain, discomfort?  Do you find it difficult to make sense of why it gives you a hard time at times?  What is the solution?

Working with Kinesiology has unlocked secrets to working with the body and not against its natural energy patterns.  Kinesiology brings together ancient knowledge of Chinese medicine and the meridian system and modern western medicine understandings of body functions.

The Chinese have been extremely insightful about how the body meridian energy system flows to promote  efficient function, coming from an interactive holistic perspective, a totally different approach from the western world that focuses on one part out of context of the whole.  Both approaches are important and can provide much more than either alone.

Meridians
Chinese understanding of flow of the meridian energy system clearly shows why we in the western world have so many digestive problems.

Two key meridians support the central nervous system, the spine and the brain, and form a connected energy flow.   Twelve further meridians supply continuous energy flow to your internal organs.   Within the flow pattern over 24 hours there is a two-hour window of peak energy for each of the 12 meridians, indicating the time of day best for that function.  The opposite time of day has the lowest energy for the same function.  So lets see how that applies to your day.

Breakfast
Stomach meridian peak energy time is 7am to 9am, breakfast time.  This is when you have most meridian energy for digesting food to restock nutrients after your body has been repairing and replacing tissue over night during your sleep.

Lunch
Small Intestine peak energy time is 1pm to 3pm, lunchtime and just after.  Once again there is energy for the processing of food to replenish blood sugars for body and brain, provide minerals as kick-starters for internal action and keep you going through the afternoon.

You may find if your choice of food was tough going for your digestive system that after lunch energy for brainwork is diverted to continue the digestion of lunch.  This is the common experience of brain shut down about mid afternoon and the need for tea or coffee or something to pick up again.

Teachers know to introduce new concepts in the morning, and not after lunch.  They engage their students’ receptive state for learning through listening and thinking before lunch, and ideally, in physically active learning in the afternoon.  Physical activity moves meridian energy, activates left and right brain, and the working muscles produce acids that create a more awake state.   Some students learn only while their physical body is on the move so can’t sit still in class.

Dinner
Generally dinner is served by or about 7pm, yet there is not digestive meridian energy available at that time.  This is the exact opposite to 7am breakfast time, the highest digestive time when you “break your fast”.  In the 24 hour cycle of energy flow 7pm is the lowest digestive energy time.   Yet this is when most of us have the largest meal of the day – not very wise.  Even western scientific research says to stop eating by 7pm and no snacking for 12 hours.  (see article in February Newsletter, New Secret For Weight Loss)

Your slowed down dinner digestion will interfere with peaceful, regenerative sleep, cause bloating and discomfort, produce a bad taste in the mouth in the morning, have you feeling sluggish or headache-y on waking, among other symptoms.  Holding up the energy flow in dinner digestion means meridian energy is not passed on to sleep time functions.   This is when your liver does its job of cleansing your blood and your cells can catch up on clean up jobs too.

Poor cleansing and incomplete repair is what has you feeling stiff and ache-y on rising and your brain refusing to kick in for the new day till you hit your blood stream with a stimulant – tea or coffee.  That, of course, will dehydrate cells.

So make sure you drink plenty of water to hydrate all your cells and dilute the waste your body is trying to dump.  That will clear your head and flush your liver, especially if you add some lemon juice to it first thing in the morning.

This will encourage your body to flush out liquid waste through your bladder, peak time after lunch 3pm to 5pm, and solid waste through your bowel each morning, peak time 5am to 7am, before breakfast.  It keeps you healthy.

Wise saying
Breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dine at night like a pauper. This pattern is in sync with the rhythm of your internal organs and meridian energy flow.  The Chinese had it worked out a long time ago.

Another time I’ll tell you more about how the Chinese tracked the energy ebb and flow, the highs and lows that are evident in all areas of life on this planet.

Cheers

Anna McRobert