The Face Is A Goldmine Of Communication

Silvan Tomkins, psychologist, personality theorist, author, with a PhD in Philosophy, believed that faces held valuable clues to inner emotions and motivations and could predict behaviour.

Paul Ekman, a pupil of Tomkins, found the face is an enormously rich source of information about emotion. He claimed the information on our face is not just a signal of what is going on inside our mind, it actually is what is going on in our mind. The facial expression is a goldmine of communication, both conscious and unconscious.

The key universal emotions, validated by Ekman’s research with people from different cultures round the world, are fear, anger, disgust, happiness, sadness, surprise.

So we are likely to recognize each of these facial expressions of feelings, but there are time when the facial expression and what we say do not match, because what we are saying is not what we are feeling.

What Happens When We Lie
Put simply, there are times we lie. Whether it is just wanting to be polite, or to cover up a mistake or to avoid creating a scene, facial expressions can give it all away, without your even knowing it. You might say, “Thank you, that was lovely,” or “Nice meeting you,” when you don’t feel that at all.

Whenever you experience a basic key emotion, that emotion is automatically expressed by the muscles of the face – it’s involuntary so can betray what you want to hide. That expression may be on your face for just a fraction of a second, just a flash. You may immediately use your voluntary muscles to try to suppress the involuntary reaction when you want to hide our true feelings, but the truth is already out.

Ekman reported on facial micro-expressions which could be used to assist in lie detection. Videos slowed down to frame-by-frame viewing clearly capture the fleeting involuntary facial expression that betrays the automatic reaction and the immediate recovery using consciously controlled muscles to hide the existence of the original expression.

That micro expression may be too fast for most viewers to pick out consciously but the amazing thing is that the subconscious can and does register it. That’s why we can get a sense that something is not right, not congruent, even if we can’t put our finger on why we have that feeling. So pay attention to your instincts on this. Your instincts can be spot on.

Dr David Craig wrote Lie Catcher and collated just what to look for to pick when someone is lying to you. Developing your eye to notice key tell tale signs can make all the difference between being taken for a ride or getting someone you can trust in a business deal, between knowing when your kids are going to visit friends versus slipping into town, or hiring the right person for the job who can do what they say they can. David Craig’s book provides clear photos of the facial expressions and body language that are a give away when all is not as open and honest in communications as others would have your believe.

And it may make you more aware of your own facial expressions too. When you are in two minds about something, it can show. When you are holding something back, it can show. When you are covering up, it can show. The face is a goldmine of communication and honesty may well be the best policy.

We are not always aware of our expression, yet others observing us can notice. “You look upset,” may be countered with “I’m not upset, just thinking,” and quickly the topic is changed to distract from further prying. So what we may think was hidden from others may not be so.

An incongruent reply, where the face and body language say one thing and the words another, can throw doubt on your truthfulness, create distrust in communications, and block open and effective communication from there on. Your facial muscles express feelings and create feelings that are real.

How can you avoid creating distrust, and how can you repair the damage and continue to build rapport? These questions can be answered in the Dynamic Communications Program. Attend now and learn more
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If you missed the start date on 29th April find out how to catch up. Contact me straight away by email: anna@annamcrobert.com.au or phone 07-3378 2050
Cheers
Anna